A wavering step in the right direction

What they said was 'we have left so much behind'. Talking to my family back home on a Sunday afternoon. There they are getting ready for Thanksgiving. The weather is getting cold. I know to the detail exactly what that place looks like, and yet I cant get to it even if I tried.
Here its summer every day. I fall asleep in the afternoon and I wake up exhausted from the heat. There are two fans blowing all of the time. And every other day it pours rain.
How on earth did I become a mother to 10, 12, 14 teenage boys? Some of them are older than my little brother. He's in grade 12 this year, we are trying to get these guys through highschool alive.
I believe so much that God has called us here. How else could we get ourselves through week after week. One hour to the next, moving on, loving, hating, wanting to kick these kids every minute of every day.
It was a good sunday. Today we got up, ate stuffed french toast (which never cooks right in this country), went to church, came home and snacked, I gave 2 students haircuts, had a speedy lunch so the boys could play squamish in the rain, then just hung out and had a good time with everyone afterwards.
There is so much I could write and wont. Its overwhelming sometimes to be so far away and feeling so at home. I worry sometimes what will happen when these years are over for us, and I doubt if they will ever end.